So Many Things

I’ve written about Luyuan Market before. ¬†It is always such an interesting experience, with so many things to see. ¬†I love asking, “what is that?” and not knowing the answer. ¬†I love thinking of those people long ago who belonged to those shoes, that jacket, that bowl. ¬†We think of who wrote that scroll and who read it. ¬†Who will read it still? ¬†We think of who¬†will buy that tiny wooden cage for a cricket. ¬†I don’t suppose I shall ever know.

I sit beside the fire and think
Of all that I have seen
Of meadow flowers and butterflies
In summers that have been

Of yellow leaves and gossamer
In autumns that there were
With morning mist and silver sun
And wind upon my hair

I sit beside the fire and think
Of how the world will be
When winter comes without a spring
That I shall ever see

For still there are so many things
That I have never seen
In every wood in every spring
There is a different green

I sit beside the fire and think
Of people long ago
And people that will see a world
That I shall never know

But all the while I sit and think
Of times there were before
I listen for returning feet
And voices at the door

‚Äē J.R.R. Tolkien

Thank you, Tolkien.  Enjoy.

 

 

 

Writing it down

For some, saying it out loud makes it better. ¬†For me, writing it down. ¬†And so I’ve been writing more and more this year. ¬†To celebrate National Poetry Month, and my goal to see the positive, here is a contribution to the blogworld today.

Again, formerly titled The Assault

It lulls you in
bright lights
movement
noise
new
Wake at 3am and there, still, is a spinning world.

Eyes wide.
Wow. What. Why. How.
I can do this.
Look at that.  Photo. Photo. Photo.
Why are they staring?
(laugh) I can do this.

And then, I don’t remember the details.
Was it one thing?  A switch turned by the movement?
Or a beat down.

I can do this. This elephant.
One fascinating experience at a time.
One language conquering moment at a time.
One cheap electronic and copy handbag
or unbelievable deal at a time.

Some days you lose your way.
Some days the way is just gone.
One fascinating, story-telling experience at a time.

I want to go home.
wherever that is
I want easy.  Understand and be understood.  Hide.

Maybe it’s been eating me all along.
one bite at a time
the beat down
the assault on my senses
the gradual attack

Ahhh. Fresh air.  Light.
I can do this.  Get away.  Remember.  Smile.  Breathe.  Drive.
It lulls you back
Eyes wider.
A good day, a good choice, and you forget

So it’s me. ¬†Is it me? ¬†I let them in. ¬†I did this.
Shut up, you.  (expletive)
Shut up, me.  Stop.

Stop.  Figure it out.
Leave it.  Again.
And again. Leave it.
Embrace that glorious, thick-skinned, floppy eared, dirty, wet, beautiful beast.  Every day.
Follow it home.
Find the way.

I can do this.