Writing it down

For some, saying it out loud makes it better.  For me, writing it down.  And so I’ve been writing more and more this year.  To celebrate National Poetry Month, and my goal to see the positive, here is a contribution to the blogworld today.

Again, formerly titled The Assault

It lulls you in
bright lights
movement
noise
new
Wake at 3am and there, still, is a spinning world.

Eyes wide.
Wow. What. Why. How.
I can do this.
Look at that.  Photo. Photo. Photo.
Why are they staring?
(laugh) I can do this.

And then, I don’t remember the details.
Was it one thing?  A switch turned by the movement?
Or a beat down.

I can do this. This elephant.
One fascinating experience at a time.
One language conquering moment at a time.
One cheap electronic and copy handbag
or unbelievable deal at a time.

Some days you lose your way.
Some days the way is just gone.
One fascinating, story-telling experience at a time.

I want to go home.
wherever that is
I want easy.  Understand and be understood.  Hide.

Maybe it’s been eating me all along.
one bite at a time
the beat down
the assault on my senses
the gradual attack

Ahhh. Fresh air.  Light.
I can do this.  Get away.  Remember.  Smile.  Breathe.  Drive.
It lulls you back
Eyes wider.
A good day, a good choice, and you forget

So it’s me.  Is it me?  I let them in.  I did this.
Shut up, you.  (expletive)
Shut up, me.  Stop.

Stop.  Figure it out.
Leave it.  Again.
And again. Leave it.
Embrace that glorious, thick-skinned, floppy eared, dirty, wet, beautiful beast.  Every day.
Follow it home.
Find the way.

I can do this.